I Resent

Dear Henry,

Due to a change in health insurance, I have spent the last couple of weeks establishing care with a new doctor.

This isn't a fun process for me and involves carting around a stack of medical records and going through a period of "rediagnosis" and "consultations" (doctors, bless their hearts, don't like to leave any stone unturned. Unfortunately, none of these things are free).

I have also been struggling with my dental work and I am now looking at (another) expensive and painful procedure.

It surprises me, that even now, 22 years after the accident, I can find myself staggered by anger, sadness, and medical bills, all because of something I didn't do and had no way to prevent.

I resent it.

And I resent carrying around the weight of my resentments.

I've read the way to remove a vice is to practice the opposing virtue, so, in this case, practice gratitude and I do have so many things to be grateful for.

Another thing I've read is the best way to get over what bothers you is physical labor.

I love my little section of forest and house that sits upon it and what better way to express gratitude than to maintain it.  I have scheduled some additional time to spend keeping things up. Fortunately, maintaining a house and forest also involves a fair amount of physical labor and, it will be, I hope a therapeutic process this Spring.

Because I decided that for Lent this year, I am going to give up this lingering resentment, once and for all.

xoxo a.d.